BIG feelings

And an even bigger dessert.

Mar 06, 2024

I’ve been seeing the same therapist for 5 years now and here is what I learned:

Confidence is essential.

I’ve always been fairly sure of myself. But until recently, I’ve come to learn that confidence isn’t only just loving yourself, it’s believing in yourself. I don’t have to be head over heels in love with myself, I just need to believe I will get to where I want to be.

People let you down. But they also pick you back up.

Everyone is living life for the first time. I know I have ruffled some feathers in my day. Others, who I know love me, have ruffled mine. But at the end of the day, these are the people who get me back on my feet. It’s okay to forgive people for big feelings, they’re human, too.

Money is *kind of* everything.

A lot of my need for emotional support comes from my career. School never came naturally to me (only to find out in my adult life that I had undiagnosed ADHD all those years) but I LOVED learning and wanted to try hard. So I did.

I graduated college and moved to Minneapolis the next day. I started my first job as a Marketing Coordinator for a real estate company and lasted only 3 months. It was so toxic (a story for another time) so I quit before having another job lined up. On my last day, my boss YELLED at me, telling me I would never amount to anything. I knew I didn’t want to be there and his opinion shouldn’t have mattered, but it did, for a long time.

This experience launched a long and hard battle with freelancing. I had long-term contract positions sprinkled in but would go long periods with one-off projects. It was fine, I was young.

Now, I’m still young. But my goals have drastically changed, and that’s okay. I care about money far more than I used to, for no reason other than it will get me closer to where I want to be.

Listen to your body.

I swear my body talks to me. It warns me if I’m pushing too hard or gets me going if I need to. It’s been impactful to learn about my systems, their collaboration, and how to harness that energy.

Stay in your lane.

“All my friends got jobs in their fields.” “All my friends are getting engaged.” and now, “All my friends are having babies.” That’s awesome for them! It has nothing to do with me!

To summarize, I have learned that at the end of the day, as long as I like where I’m headed, things will feel lighter. I can believe that my hard work got me there and the people who matter will be right alongside me.

If I can leave you with one piece of advice: get a therapist and stick it out.

Weekly Report -

R: Reading -

Another slow novel week, hoping to pick up a new book this week. But I did read this sweet little piece from The Atlantic.

The Friends Who Are Caring For Each Other In Older Age - Rhaina Cohen

E: Eating -

Saturday we had a hell of an eating day. After winning my first Instagram Giveaway, I got a $150 gift card to Surly. Their food is extremely good. Jordan and I went on Saturday for lunch before heading down to Rochester to visit my sister in law, Madi. We bar-hopped then for dinner ate at Thai Pop, an ABSOLUTE MUST when in Rochester. The food was, obviously amazing, but this dessert made my life complete.

Thank you, Jordan for remembering to take at least one photo. I’m unsure what this is exactly but I will be thinking about it for years to come.

P: Playing with -

I’ve picked my switch up again and am back on my Stardew Valley bullshit. It makes me feel ALIVE.

O: Obsessing -

Friends of Big Bear Valley have a 24/7 live streaming of an eagle’s nest and the mama is sitting on 3 eggs. They’re expected to hatch any day. I’m OBSESSED.

R: Recommending -

Going outside. Everyday.

T: Trying -

For the past couple of years, I’ve been trying VERY hard to decrease, and ultimately eliminate, food waste in our house. I’m getting quite good at it, and I’m trying to get even better.

Original Words -

I am behind on original poetry, so I’m sorry you’ve been getting more commercialized work. This week is no different. Bear with me, inspiration will be coming my way soon! (fingers crossed)

I have an unreleased piece about simmer pots. What’s a simmer pot, you ask? It’s essentially a pot of water with goodies in it, and when you boil the water, it releases the scent all around your home! I came up with some spring-inspired simmer pots for you all to try. PRO TIPS: 1. you can add more water throughout the day and 2. when you’re done for the day, drain the water into a spray bottle and you just made yourself a room spray! Okay, here we go:

Lavender Haze
4 tbsp of dried lavender
1 lemon - sliced
3 sprigs of fresh rosemary
1 tsp vanilla extract
Flower petals
3-4 cups of water (add more as needed)

It’s That Thyme
4 sprigs of fresh thyme
½ of a grapefruit - sliced
1 lemon - sliced
1 tsp of full black peppercorns
1 tsp vanilla extract
3-4 cups of water (add more as needed)

Minty Spice
3 limes - sliced
1 bunch fresh mint
1 bunch fresh thyme
½ inch fresh ginger - thinly sliced
3-4 cups of water (add more as needed)

Clean Green
3 eucalyptus stems (leaves removed from the stems, discard stems)
4 sprigs of rosemary
2 lemons - sliced
3-4 cups of water (add more as needed)